I’m Nigerian from my head to my feet. I have never denied it. Never even wished I was from another country. I honestly don’t see the point. You are Nigerian, deal with it. Anyway I digress, I’m here to talk about salons and my pet peeves. This one is another wahala we have in this our country and it’s time for us to talk about it. In my usual fashion, I will be listing them out so get comfortable with your Milo and Coaster biscuit. Let’s go;

Aunties that don’t shave

Where do I even begin with this one? Aunt Simbi, I want to relax my hair. You know that it’s part of your job. You cannot use your church-mind to shave your armpit. Is it even fair ehn? And you are not doing it for free ooo. I’m paying you oooo. Help me now. I mean you have to wash above my head and you wear sleeveless shirts to work because of the heat. I mean shaving and wearing deodorant is the least you could do. I can see Cecil, the lion and Felix, the giraffe in the bush in your armpit. This is not why I am here.

Aunties that don’t wash their hands after eating

So I’m sure you’ve been working on your feet all day and that can be very tiring so when you ask if you can take a break and eat your eba and egusi, I don’t argue. You will now finish and won’t wash your hands properly. You will just lick the hands and wipe it on your wrapper. What is that about now? I said you could eat out of the goodness of my heart. Why can’t you just return the love by washing your hands with soap and water?

Aunties that let other customers jump the queue

So I’m making braids that take forever hours. My ass is screaming bloody murder, my feet are not receiving blood and I just want to get this over and done with. Then one big madam will now come with her big dashiki and say she wants to fix and you now leave my hair to attend to her. Won’t God judge you? I mean I was here before her and I’m tired as hell and just because some mummy is around you now want to help her jump the queue. Is that fair?

Aunties that gossip

This one is controversial –ish. Some people like it, I personally can’t stand it. I mean your mouth is just running like someone with diarrhea and your eyes are shinning like halogen light. ‘Ahhhh. Did you hear papa and mama Nkechi fighting last night, I have been telling her to leave that her husband, he is a useless man’ ‘That my boyfriend is just a pauper. All I asked him for was 15,ooo Naira to make my nails he said he does not have. I will soon leave him for Baba Sherifat. I don’t mind being his third wife.’ Keep your mouth shut and get my hair done bikonu.

So that’s just a tip of the iceberg. There’s more where that came from. If you have any more to add don’t forget to leave a comment in the appropriate box, like, subscribe and share. Peace!!!!!

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